I open to the sense of you,
float into your forgiveness like a twig dancing downstream.
I yield to your knowing, the truth of your erosion,
how you carry detritus across the ages,
from frozen ice fields all the way down to the open sea.
No longer caught
in the narrow interstice of my mutinous, glacial boulders,
nor trapped in the dams of my own making,
I embrace your whitewater rapids and swirling eddies,
your placid meandering, and your steep descent
over well-worn waterfall cliffs.
In your presence I flow with ease,
drink each unique moment of the ride,
follow the course of your current.
Friday, March 12, 2010
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so is "narrow interstice" too wordy? And also "mutinous glacial bolders" ??? feel free to chime in on that if you actually get here to read this! And any other potential "stoppages" you sense...or if you don't sense a stoppage, you could let me know that, too...or you are welcome, as always, to simply read and release...thanks to any who wander into this world I'm creating....
ReplyDeletea little too wordy in my opinion.... i like it overall tho...
ReplyDeleteNO! NOT WORDY! just perfect! I love the images, this poem reminds me that you are a true mystic. Perfect! LOVE LOVE LOVE!
ReplyDeleteKaren
NOT too wordy - I have no idea what interstice means but I don't have to!! it sounds right...but I confess that the pairing of mutinous, glacial turned into glutinous in my mind for a second, so I guess that was a stoppage. Love you and your sharing, what a gift!
ReplyDeleteRobin Moore
thanks you guys...Barbara, your views mirror parts of me, though others obviously were ok with it when I posted...Karen, you, to are Love love love...we're all mystics in my opinion...and Robin, LOVE glutinous...maybe I'll write a poem around it...you are all so kind to me...you are gifts to me you know!
ReplyDeletefor me the words created strong visuals, to give pictures to the ideas and emotions... so my vote is yes, i loved the wording and i think it works very well.
ReplyDelete