Anticipation

It's this grey sky
and the ocean,
churning beneath
the northwest wind
that put me in this mood:
waiting for a phone-call
or the sound of your van
crunching onto our gravel drive.

I have to remind myself
it is neither a lack in me
that makes you silent, unavailable,
nor my inner beauty that brings you here
after such long absence;
but merely your own wishes.

Our connection once ran deep
as the currents beneath
this roiling sea  --
unfathomable, chilling.

Though you will say it's nothing more
than sex we're missing,
I know better.